A hit, a very palpable hit

Hello everyone! Surprised to see me? I have been in the internet wilderness for quite some time now, recovering from the unavoidable ‘post-show blues’ and getting back to normal life in London.

First of all, WOAH! I can’t believe it’s December… and what’s all that white stuff falling from the sky?… And, why is it so damn cold? Never thought I’d have to wear 2 pairs of socks, gloves and a scarf in my own flat!

Enough waffling, the reason why I am back, is to tell you all dear readers, that HAMLET - our Hamlet - Sheffield Crucible’s Hamlet - has been nominated for BEST REGIONAL PRODUCTION at the ‘What’s On Stage Awards: 2011’

Great news, eh? So yes, I am shamefully pluggin away to get as many votes as possible, which of course involves me coming back to my dear blog and asking you all to support us!

Please click on the link below, follow the instructions and vote. It won’t take you longer than 2 minutes. That, I can guarantee.

http://awards.whatsonstage.com/

We all had such a great time on the show, it was received so warmly and generously by the audiences that trekked up to Sheffield to see it… What better way to see in 2011 than with a little trophy? 

I have failed in my half-promise to blog every night this week. For that, I am sorry. But I just want to say, that today, has been one of the greatest days I’ve had here in Sheffield. Truly, a great, great day.

It started with an early start, venturing into town to get some much needed food before I was whisked away with Jonny Humphreys on a Shakespeare voyage to a local High School in Sheffield. I was fortunate to be asked by Jonny to help in a Shakespeare / Hamlet workshop to a 34 strong group of pupils who study Theatre Studies at their school - who were also attending the show this evening.

It’s wonderful to see eager pupils so interested in drama. A mixture of 17 & 18 year olds who were by the most part, a very keen group of students, interested in the works of Shakespeare and Hamlet. Most of them having never seen a production of Shakespeare, let alone Hamlet, were ever attentive and fully up for getting their hands dirty and jumping in the deep end, so to speak and work through some of the tasks Jonny had set out for them. Starting with the famous ‘To be, or not to be’ speech, they split up into pairs and worked through the thoughts and actions Hamlet is thinking about. Every step, Jonny adding another layer, getting them to punctuate each thought with a different movement, also getting them to question the words in the speech that they didn’t understand to get some clarification. It was so nice to see them so eager to work and I was in awe of their respect for each others work and ideas about it.

It was also nice for me, who’s nothing to do with that moment in the play, to discover how I would say the famous speech. And try some of the tasks out myself, to see if they could bring out in me some deeper understanding of the text. Next, we moved on to the opening scene, very much like the ‘page to stage’ workshop we held at the theatre not so long ago. Again, the scene was met with enthusiasm, and myself reading in my own part of Barnardo. I found it bizarre, a crystal moment of weird-ness to hear other actors read in the lines that I was so familiar of hearing by my fellow cast members. Refreshing then, to hear the words of this scene being brought to life in a completely different way than say of Colin, or Rod.

They broke off in to pairs of 4 or 5, and gave a little rendition, their take on the opening scene. It was lovely to see younger actors, bring a whole new idea to the opening scene - which later I think, would give a huge pay off when they saw it done at the Crucible. After all that, a quick Q & A and off I was, back to the Crucible to do our last Thursday performance of Hamlet! I told you it was a tick lists of ‘lasts’.

Tonight was a good show, everyone on top form, playing, not denying or inventing - but merely enjoying the play and all that it’s worth. Both John’s are forever playing, trying out new stuff, saying lines differently and making the show, then, a completely different one from that of rehearsals. The last scene itself was gripping, mesmerising. The hush of the audience when John collapses in Colin’s arms and says, ‘… the rest they say, is silence’ gave me goosebumps.

But nothing, NOTHING could have predicted what was going to happen at the curtain call. After all the nods and bows we all do separately as a company, at the end of the play we all join hands as a whole and give one last bow to the audience. At this time, almost the entire Crucible auditorium stood, in unison, to appreciate what they had just seen. It was incredible. A moment that I will cherish forever. It is saved in the memory bank. We just stood there, not wanting to bow because the applauding was so overwhelming. Then like a bunch of school kids, ran off to the dressing room and giggled and swooned over what we had just achieved. A moment of pure joy, gratification and sadness. Ay, sadness. Yes, I said it.

Because my dear readers, we have only 3 more shows to go. THREE! And our Hamlet will be put to rest. I wish it could go on for longer, but I think there’s something special in the fact that it is such a short run and not in ‘the home of theatre’ : London. It’s like a present we have bestowed on Sheffield and those lucky enough to have seen it have been a part of that present.

I can’t complain anymore, about the coughing or my own displeasures at a bad performance. I’m in a great show, with a fantastic cast that I will without any hesitation call my family.

How lucky am I, eh? Theatre is a magical thing.

Well tonight’s show epitomised the notion of a Tuesday show, I think! With a two day break, the show was always going to be a ‘fly by the seat of our pants’ show. It’s like you need a little reminding of what’s coming next, what you’re supposed to be saying and doing. It’s only when you’ve said it, or moved to the spot in which you’re supposed to be standing does it all come flooding back. And by then, of course, it’s too late. You’d think that having a two day break shouldn’t be that harmful, but I suppose the break, although well needed, is a chance for you to switch off from Elsinore and think of other things, non-Hamlet orientated. So when faced with going on stage for the opening scene, I find myself second guessing my words, second guessing my moves, as if I have been absent from it for longer than 48 hours.

But it was okay, in the end. The audience seemed to like it, we didn’t add any minutes to the running hour so all was ok. But you know what I mean? Generally backstage, the show seemed to be painful, but out there in the seats, they seemed to enjoy it - so that’s all that matters, right?

Talking afterwards to some of the cast in the bar, I think the mood overall is one of knowing the time is near to call it a day. John Simm I think, is happy that it will end in a week. I know that he feels incredibly lucky to have done this, enjoyed every second, but the length of the run is fitting to him and to everyone else. I know Colin can’t wait to join his wife in Vancouver. I am eagerly awaiting the return journey home to London. It’s a feeling of sadness but of anticipation, too. A knowing.

It’s crazy to think that I still get butterflies before every show. Even this late on in the run, when I see the cue light backstage flashing green, giving me permission to walk on and deliver my Barnardo lines to Joe Mydell, my belly does a little backflip. This, I think, is a good thing. It shows I still care. It shows I still enjoy it. And I don’t think I’m the only one who still feels this. Backstage, we still all care very much about the work we’ve created. Still ever analysing the scene we’ve just done, still wondering if the audience were listening, got that part or got that moment. We’re a great group, always wanting the show to be the best it can be. And finding it disappointing when we haven’t lived up to the best of our ability.

I know tomorrow will be okay, we’ve found our way and will get into our stride, once again. It’s just a show at the end of the day. Just a play. Just a bunch of actors on stage. But what a play! And what a bunch of actors! It will be a good week. A sad one, to say good bye to it all, but a good week nonetheless. 

Something is rotten in the state of Sheffield. This, I can honestly say, without hesitation or pause, is a fact. Now I haven’t done many plays, (apart from drama school and my one theatre moment a couple of months ago) so I have little experience of this, but, talking to my fellow cast members, something seems to be afoot with the audiences here in the Crucible.

To put it out there, bluntly: coughing. Aaaargh! I don’t know where to start! You can chime in with your excuses and reasons if you like, but for crying out loud, is there a plague in Sheffield that I don’t know about? It’s ridiculous. For the last several weeks, the audiences at the Crucible seem to be in some sort of competition, fighting against one another as to who may have the loudest cough. It’s unbearable and disheartening that from the opening of the play, we actors seem to have to time our lines with any gaps of silence. No wonder we seem to have added 8 minutes to the running time. When one person starts, it’s like a mexican wave flooding the auditorium. You have to understand that the Crucible is a great theatre, the acoustics in that space are brilliant - but this has it’s flaws when coughs bounce around, from one area to the next, like a ping pong ball of illness.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but if you cough, you miss things. People say that ‘the language’ is hard for them to understand, it alienates them as it’s not ‘modern speech’, so then surely that following every word is necessary, for you to get the play, to follow each moment. Now I’m not saying that you shouldn’t cough, if by all means you have a tickly throat or a chest infection, then fine. But I have never witnessed a sort of cough tirade as bad as this.

Now, during our show the auditorium is flooded with ‘haze’. This is a effect used in most theatres, it’s just a mode of creating atmosphere and so that the beams of light are visible. But that’s all it is. Haze. Not dust. I can understand the mentality to a degree; you think you see dust, your mind plays tricks on you and so you feel like you must cough - BUT please notice that throughout the entire production, we the actors, who are in the same space as you, NEVER cough.

For those of you that have already seen Hamlet, what do you think? Am I wrong in being so outspoken? It’s an irritant that I have mentioned a couple of times in my tweets. Most notably, getting a lot of reactions from you guys telling me to calm down. Which is fair enough. I’m ranting, I know I am. Sorry. But it’s a bug bear that I need to get off my chest!

Last nights show was a success and Paul Miller was very happy. Great. We all went out to a local mediterranean restaurant after the show, which stayed open especially for us and had lovely food with the entire company. We had drink, too. Lots of it. The wine poured and we all stumbled home in a drunken manner, very late at night. Or should I say, early morning? It was lovely to see Paul, all of us in good spirits and the show being a particularly good one made the night much more enjoyable. I had some very close friends in, so I didn’t stay there as long as the others. Some of the cast were a bit worse for wear. Fragile I think is the word.

Tomorrow is a double whammy, matinee and evening performance. I enjoy these days, as it’s almost like you fall into a time loop. You get to a particular point in the play and it feels like 10pm at night, then when you look outside your dressing room window and its daylight, it sort of throws you - having being so used to the night time shows.

My whining about the coughing put aside, it’s not that I want you thinking I’m ungrateful or disloyal to the audience, because they are in fact brilliant. Warm, receptive and encouraging. It’s just those damn coughs that sort of make you think we should start handing out cough sweets and packs of lemsip with the programmes! Right, rant over. My bed calls.

‘To cough, or not to cough, that is the question’…. The answer, ‘not to cough’ - please?? 

Oh my dear readers, how I have neglected you! Please accept my most sincerest apologies… but, to avoid plodding down ‘excuse lane’, I have had quite a busy weekend.

“Not good enough”, I hear you all cry, and quite right too. Sorry. But to crack on as if I have never been away is my intention, and so I will do just that. Starting… now.

‘Treat Week’ was fun, wasn’t it? Eh? I hope you all enjoyed my fellow cast members entries. I find it so interesting how other people perceive the show, their methods and their outlook on the whole thing. And anyway, it kept it nice and refreshed.

Since I last blogged (my oh my, that was a depressing one…) the show has been turning along nicely. A well oiled machine. Playing to packed houses, the reception and applause at the end, just wonderful. It’s so comforting that a magnificent cast like the one we have can go out to full houses every night, it’s what the play and production deserve. We as a company are becoming even more tight-knitted, it’s slowly beginning to change from a company of actors, to a family. Which is wonderful. But then, that makes it all the more sad when in a week and a half time we will say goodbye to our hard work and watch as another company and cast step on to OUR stage and perform an all together different show. ‘Me and My Girl’ will be the next production to grace the boards of the Crucible, the cast photos and information has already started popping up on info boards around the backstage area. Which is daunting. Another more daunting fact that in 2 weeks time, I stop getting paid! The familiar sign of seeing a payslip at the end of the week will have vanished, I will go back to being self-employed (cross fingers, not for too long I hope - my agent, take note!)…

It is sad though, that we have to say goodbye to each other. I think this must become a thing you learn to expect when you’ve been doing it a long time, it’s just another job at the end of the day, everyone moves on to pastures new. I think it’s me being a relative newbie that I don’t want that feeling of not hearing the beginners call over the tanoy to get into my place ready to walk on as Barnardo. I don’t want to not be able to play a game of Rummy in the dressing room during the interval with Ben, Harry & Tim (as I type this, I am currently top on the leaderboard - which is good news, as the loser buys a round of drinks!). I don’t want to not have that stupid bowler hat for Osric and front up to John’s Hamlet. I enjoy that little battle, every night wondering “how camp will Osric be tonight?”, he’s a real gem of a part and I enjoy opening the centre stage doors and welcoming that moody Prince back to Denmark.

So yeah, as I mentioned in an earlier blog, leading up to press night seemed like a tick list of things to knock off before the big day. Now sadly, it looks like a new list has formed, ‘the last’ of everything. The last wednesday matinee (that’s already been ticked off), the last Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday/Friday/Saturday shows. The last time you say those lines. The last time you do a voice warm up. The last time, the last time, the last time…. Yes. A new list, of sad things.

And to sign off on this post, I leave you with a question, that I will then answer.

If he were alive today, what would Shakespeare think of our production? The answer, I think and hope would be, that he’d bloody love it. We’ve been known as having a very clear production, people following the whole story and not getting put off by the ‘Ye Olde English’, they have marveled in our dexterity, our use of the stage and with these glorious words. HIS glorious words. I’m sure he’d be really proud that his play was getting a good outing, even now, and that it is so well received. That we don’t need props and fancy technology to help us/mask us… It merely gets in the way of his fantastic play.

So tomorrow Paul Miller returns to see us. I hope and pray that it won’t be like last time. That dreaded performance. No. There isn’t any post weekend blues, we’re in full swing, going through the motions. Delivering.

I’m off to the land of zzzz now. Au revoir you lovely readers. Let’s not wait that long again until we see each other, yes? 

P.S - ‘Treat Week’ isn’t technically over. I have one more surprise up my sleeve, but you might have to wait until the very end to get that one.

Yes, it’s me again. I have returned from the depths of the blog void. Sorry to disrupt ‘Treat Week’ - but I feel now would be a nice point to have an ‘interval’, so you can all join me in the foyer of my little blog universe for sweets, drinks, a toilet break and return to ‘Treat Week’ galvanized for one or two more guest bloggers.

As I write this, the possibility for me to rush off and be sick is very high (sorry to be so blunt & honest) but I am not a well puppy. On top of that, with our two day break away from Hamlet, tonights show was very muddy indeed. Lines went astray, moments were destroyed by over thinking, nothing was fresh - it was a stale, slow show tonight. ‘Don’t worry though, Alex, it’s not like your director was in?‘…

Ah. Well. Right. Hmm.

Paul has been absent from us, the rabble, since Press Night. Which is common place in the theatre world. The director sees you through that hurdle, shoots off to have a well earned break and can come back, if they so wish, to see the show at a later date. When it’s bedded in. Of all the dates Paul could have returned to Sheffield on, of all the performances he could have seen, bless him, tonight was the one he opted for.

Which is a damn shame, actually. It’s always hard after a two day hiatus to get back into the swing of things with ease. Some of you might find this ridiculous, I mean, it’s our job for crying out loud! Every night should be as good as the previous. But no, tonight was a stinker. And to be honest, I feel incredibly disappointed. A personal disappointment as well. I can’t (and never will) speak on behalf of my cast, I have said that everyone has their own journey in this play. Some people have great nights while others flounder. It’s never a consistent, general consensus that when the show is good, everyone is having a good one. Or vice versa.

But yes, tonight was a personal low for me. Not helping that I’m feeling incredibly ill and down in the dumps, but to add to that Paul being in and not having a good show, you get the sense that you’ve let your boss down. That you’re the sidekick to their superhero and you’ve failed them. Even though I haven’t strictly had any personal notes from Paul himself, (those will follow tomorrow, no doubt) I can’t help think that since he’s left, the play has grown - for better or worse - and moments have developed. I’m the type of actor that when something becomes concreted down, set in stone, that I will try and change it. I have a fear of the mundane, the boredom sets in & begin to try stuff out. New stuff, which haven’t been fleshed out in rehearsal, so they can sometimes work. And sometimes not.

Tonight, I went out to enjoy and continue playing. What followed was a miss match performance with no consistency or depth. An actor, acting, instead of a character, breathing. Not good at all.

Tomorrow is double whammy day - a matinee and an evening show. Also, to add to that, a workshop before the matinee with school children at 10:45am… I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel! The illness couldn’t have come at a worse time, so the objective tomorrow is to make sure I get through it unscathed. Plenty of vitamin C, lots of water, stock up on the medication and pray.

Just pray. Pray that all will be well.

As I write this, the date on my laptop turns to Wednesday. So, I’m technically cheating with my date of entry. But, pah! Who’s watching over me? The Blog Lords? Poo to you all. I’ll write what I want to write and you can’t stop me!

After nearly getting mugged in the streets of Sheffield tonight, it’s safe to say that the students have returned and are now embarking on the most important week of their academic year: ‘freshers week’. To segue into any relevance of Hamlet whatsoever, tomorrow is our press night, and tonight was our last preview! So yes, up yours Sheffield boys who attempted to steal my money, this is an important week for me too!

On my last entry I wrote about the feeling after a performance. Recently, we as a cast have felt that certain nights have gone well. Funnily enough, those nights Paul has felt hasn’t gone so well. Errr, eh?

Then on the other side of the coin, the nights where we feel are not so good, Paul has been welcoming us with open arms, saying how wonderful the show was. Hmmm. As you can gather, if something feels right on stage, that you yourself or others around you are doing well, it might not read like that for the punters paying their money, sat in the theatre. It’s a conundrum that one.

I feel as a whole, we have had some great previews. All of which have been lessons taught and learnt from us. We are growing with each performance but that doesn’t mean we get it perfect every night. No no no. As far as I’m aware, there have been no duds. I think because it’s such a great play. You can do no wrong, really. But as each performance passes us by, we are as a collective of people trying out something new. We’re testing each other on stage and with this comes some things that work and some things that don’t. That’s the joy of previews I guess. Testing the water and seeing if you float or sink.

Personally, I’m only now (I told you, I’m not a rehearsal man, I’m a audience man!) getting it. Like really getting it. We’ve been talking recently about when not on stage, how to judge your entrance, how to keep the ball in the air so to speak. How to bring on a different energy so that the play stays alive. Now, and only now do I get this. And feel that I’m beginning to participate in this exercise. Others are masters at this. John Simm is taking the show by the balls (again, excuse my language, tut tut tut…) as he quite rightly has to! He is Hamlet, and the show rests on his shoulders. If he’s tired then the scenes begin to be tired, if he’s on it then we can come in and join in with his ‘on it’ness. Bad grammar, apologies. But you get the idea.

We have some pros at moving the play along steadily. ‘Keeping the ball in the air’ is the term used at drama school. I think it comes from understanding how a play works. And experience. But in our cast; Joe, Rod, Colin, Barbara, Adam & Dylan are truly great at this, I think. Not saying the others aren’t but their roles are vital in the piece and keep the play moving along at a steady pace.

Tonight, as previews go, it wasn’t the best. You personally can have a great one (which I did, I loved tonight) but across the board, it wasn’t. The audience was… umm… how do I put this? Loud. Yes loud. As in coughing loud. Bless them, I know how hard it is to keep a cough in, but I think tonight was an exception of the rule, they just battered the coughs out left, right and centre. So we as performers think they’re not listening. So we try harder. But actually, it’s the furthest from the truth.

Tonight they were listening. And the reception we received at the curtain call was ridiculous to say the least. Nice, wonderful and lovely, but ridiculous. It was like being back in the 60’s and we were the Beatles. Lots and lots of screaming girls. Now I may be generalizing here, so slap my wrists if I am, there may have been a few blokes screaming too, but it was a bit weird.

And that’s the point I’m trying to make. It’s a difficult thing, to get an audience. If they are understanding and following the play. We should never try and second guess them. So as press night is only hours away, (again another thing I’d most happily tick off the list) we must do ourselves justice on stage. Connect, enjoy and play. These things I have mentioned time and time again, I know, but they are important. But when the auditorium is full with lots of pen scribbling reviewers, backstage tomorrow we must take it into our stride and go out there and be wonderful.

Because that’s what we are. All 14 of us are wonderful, no matter what the papers will say, no matter how many stars we get or good write ups are received. We are wonderful and I want to take this opportunity to say to my fellow cast members, that it’s been a pleasure, and I can’t wait to see this journey through with you all, to the end.

We are a fascinating bunch of mammals, why do we put ourselves through this? Press night is upon us. I hope they like it, but if they don’t, poo poo to them, I’m enjoying myself and that, in the end, is all that matters.

So that’s that then. Technical rehearsal: over. 3 days of perfecting our work from the last 4 weeks of rehearsal, onto the stage, adding the lights and sounds, putting on our costumes and creating the show. Easier typed than done.

For those of you not knowing what a technical rehearsal is, or a ‘tech’  (pronounced t-e-c-k) as we call it, (theatre lingo, it’s all the rage these days, apparently) is something of a special process only theatre actors would know about. It’s everyone collaborating together to create something magical, a process over a period of 3 or 4 days (depending on the show) where the objective is to realise the vision of the designer and director. People can understand rehearsing a show, and people, of course, can understand performing a show, but, there is that little nugget of hard work that is rarely acknowledged, smack in the middle of those two things. It’s one of a kind.

A slow, sometimes infuriating couple of days where we lock ourselves in the theatre, working 10 ‘till 10, with stage management adding their little touches to the play that we’ve created in the rehearsal room. You have your sound, your lights, your props, your costumes and your entrances/exits to be worked out. You have the space to contend with too, (the rehearsal room is in by no means a comparison to the magnificent Crucible) and it can sometimes be tedious, but more often than not, it’s a joy to witness all the components slot together. The finished article being what you see when you rock up to the theatre. The highs of the tech are great, just knowing and loving the hardwork of the unseen people, working together, a sense of something magical taking place, to create this show. The lows of the tech are painful. A lot of waiting around seems to be the main one.

But we should not complain, as it is our job, very alike an artist waiting for his paint to dry. Yes. An awful comparison, but hopefully you understand what I’m trying to say.

And that’s that. Tomorrow is going to be an exciting day. Lot’s going on and it’s crazy to think that this is it. We are doing a ‘closed dress rehearsal’ at 1.30pm, basically putting on the show but with no one in the audience, just to fine tune the thing before the public get their mits on it. Then at 7.15pm we will open the doors to the audience and perform an ‘open dress rehearsal’. Things will go wrong, some bits won’t look right and I can guarantee you there will be times where the actors (probably me) will walk on and do one (or all) of the following: be in the wrong clothes, say the wrong lines, come on too early, too late or not at all. This is bound to happen and I’m the optimist! True story.

Yet again then dear readers, I will love you and leave you. Big day tomorrow and I need my beauty sleep. 

It’s too late to blog. Well, to blog fully. So I thought I’d write a couple of words, bash out a couple of letters, see where my fingers lead me…

I’m homesick. It’s official. Sheffield is great, it’s such a wonderful city - a city that I want to explore more. But, I am missing home. And not London home. I’m missing Wales home. And that’s the thing see, I don’t really know what about Wales I’m missing. Family, loved ones, the Country itself… I don’t quite know, but every now and then I get a pang of ‘missing-ness’ and I just want to curl up and hide. If I would be truly honest, and where better place to be than on an internet blog (not)… I’m just missing, you know? Just missing.

Apart from all this mumbo jumbo above, we started the tech today, which went well. It’s always weird being on set for the first time, you suddenly realise the magnitude (ooo good word) of the whole thing. The set is fantastic, the theatre is exceptional and our costumes are great. I heard a while back that we were known (in comparison to the Rory Kinnear Hamlet, that’s going on at the National) as the sexy Hamlet. How much of that is true, I don’t know, but it’s a compliment, I must say. The costumes, the design by Tom Scutt is just brilliant. He should be applauded 10 times over for his work on this production. Honestly. Actors want to look pretty and that we are in this. Very pretty indeed.

Dressing rooms allocated & a walk around backstage of the theatre was done this morning and we cracked on with the opening scene at 1.30pm. I’m sharing a dressing room with Harry & Ben (whom I’ve grown very fond of in the last couple of weeks - don’t tell them though, it’ll go to their heads). And what a dressing room it is! We’ve hit the jackpot I think. It’s bloody (excuse my French) massive. But, you should know, backstage at the Crucible is great. It’s such a fantastic theatre, very accomodating to actors. It’s a lovely home and we’re incredibly lucky people to be working here. I would jump at the chance to come back here again - maybe after I’ve dealt with my homesick feelings. 

But, as I might get homesick and whatty notty, I have, and so have the others, been made to feel so welcome here, which is wonderful.

So as I type up this half hearted blog entry, the clock in the corner of my laptop tutting away at me, willing me to sleep (early call tomorrow, ya see!), the opening night looms. We’re days away, so I will leave you with these words from the Prince of Denmark himself…

“If it be now ‘tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now. If it be not now, yet it will come.”

Couldn’t have put it better myself, sir.

Nice weekend everyone? My oh my, have I got lots to tell you! Let’s pick up from where I left off after the Thursday entry. Always a good place to start, don’t you think? Yes. I thought you’d agree.

Friday morning, we did our first full run in the rehearsal room of the Lyceum Theatre. With many people in attendance from the Sheffield crew, we trundled through at a steady pace. It was so nice to do the whole thing through, not only so you can see the play in it’s entirety and say, “well, there it is, yes, there is Hamlet”, but also personally we can all see our character arch clearly and begin to understand our journey, not since the read-through has this been available. It was a success. I think. Feedback from the small audience was positive. They said it was the most clear production of a Shakespeare they’ve seen. Which is great news to hear. You know, we all worked so hard for the last 4 weeks, especially John and Paul so that feedback like this is a nice boost in that we are heading in the right direction.

After the run and a bite to eat, we worked on specific scenes that became a little muddy in the run, also just speed-running the lines of certain scenes to get the chatty casualness back. We finished at around 6pm and headed to Crucible Corner, a great bar opposite the Crucible to celebrate our first run through with a couple of drinks. Some of the cast, (me included) were attending the Fundraising Gala later that evening.

With a 3 course meal on the actual stage of the Crucible, with the Hamlet set overlooking us, a great night was had by all - and too much alcohol consumed by some. With Daniel Evans hosting the fantastic event, with entertainment from some great Musical Theatre singers in between each course of food and an auction (giving away some incredible prizes) a lot of money was raised for the Theatre. It was a pleasure to be representing the Hamlet clang and to bear witness to the amazing support that the Theatre has. I was put on a table with some great guests, one of which was the Lord Mayor of Sheffield. Yes! I don’t know who’s idea that was, but a lot of trust and responsibility was placed on my shoulders - and with the alcohol flowing, luckily I didn’t make a tit out of myself. My walk home was a funny one though, probably taking me twice as long due to my funny walking patterns…

So, the weekend was upon us. A nice lie in for you then Alex, I hear you ask? No such thing! Saturday at 10am we were all back in to do our last full run in the rehearsal room. Let’s take this opportunity to be honest, shall we?

I was hung over.

Not too bad though, a sore head was the worst of the side-affects. There was no risk of me running away mid-scene to be sick, no. Not that bad. But still, not very proffesional I hear you say. Mmmmm, quite.

The main note off Paul from yesterdays run was to be more fluid with the words, to think on the line, not before it. To quote Hamlet, “trippingly on the tongue” is what was needed. And to have fun. Trust that everything that’s been worked on the last 4 weeks is there and to enjoy. And so we did. We shaved off 13 minutes from our previous run - which in any theatrical environment is INSANE. It just showed us all that Paul was right, yesterday’s run must have seemed very slow if this was the case. I’m guessing we were all just being over-cautious. But to know that we can be faster with it and it still being clear is great for us at this stage. We venture out of the rehearsal room now and start teching tomorrow. It feels right, we’ve outgrown the rehearsal room and it’s about time we get the costumes on and slap in a bit of lights to make us look pretty!

With our second run in the bag, on Saturday afternoon I joined Adam and Tim on a little trip to Hillsborough to watch Sheffield Wednesday play Carlisle Utd. We caught the tram up to the ground (a first for me). We ate Pork sandwiches (that according to Adam, are a Sheffield delicacy) and even though they lost (1-0 if you care) I had a great time. A proper ‘man’ day out. I even continued on from Friday nights drinking session with several glasses of Moonshine (a local ale) at a great bar, Bungalow and Bear on Division Street - Look at me, eh? I could be mistaken for a proper Sheff boy!

I’m starting to feel more comfortable here. Getting used to my surroundings is helping me with some of the homesick pangs I get every now and then. Yes, I know, I’ve only been away a week but I’m a young one at heart really, so leave me alone.

The next stage is only a night’s sleep away. We get to finally be on the Crucible stage. We get to finally put on Hamlet at Sheffield. It’s an exciting time for all. Ticket sales have gone through the roof and we’ve got a fantastic show to unleash on you all. Be prepared. That’s all I’m saying.

We definitely have a play guys. Definitely.

This afternoon, a run of Act 2 was performed and the story of Hamlet was complete. The last of the jigsaw pieces were slotted into place. This time round, this Act seemed slower than our run of Act 1. Maybe because of fatigue, you know? End of the day, nearing the end of the week, maybe we’re drooping in stamina? But, it still looks great. I have an unprecedented amount of pride for this show. I am in awe at what we’ve achieved these last couple of weeks, really I am. Our trust in Paul has come through completely, he has a show now, a bloody good one at that - all we must do now, is ease into it and enjoy the thing. He mentioned at the end of the run in our ‘notes’ session, that our next hurdle seems to be finding out the rhythm of the piece. Getting it to peak at the right times. Not letting it drag in places and just making is sing.

The story though, is clear. I am watching it and understanding every bit of it. Which is an achievement for any company attempting Shakespeare. Getting to the juices of it. It’s one thing for us to know it, it’s another thing to know the audience are following too.

Tomorrow morning, we attempt the biggest ask of all. In front of our composer, lighting designer, Daniel Evans and no doubt, some others from the Sheffield Theatres clang will be in attendance for our first, EVER full run. I can’t wait. Those of you who have been following the blog since I started, doesn’t it seem like only yesterday I was speaking about my nerves at the first read-through? Hasn’t time flown? 

Speaking of you lot. The readers of this blasted thing. I want to take this opportunity to thank you for your loving and kind words. Your questions, intrigue, well wishes have not gone un-noticed and I am very grateful for your support. And so are the rest of the cast, (who have, by the way, caught onto my blogging-ness and are now avid readers - hello fellow cast members!) they all are very appreciative of your support in this production.

Personally, the run today went well. I’m beginning to play with Osric now, finding a joy in my scenes and starting to breathe on stage. Always a bonus, that one: breathing. ‘Cos if you don’t breathe, then, well… Yes. Almost certain death. He’s a lovely little character to play. Before, my struggle with Osric was that he was so far removed from my own self, that it seemed like I was overdoing it. Trying too hard. But now, with confidence and more practice, the ‘ease’ that’s needed is slowly happening. Also, I found a muse to base him on. But more of that later. Like, later - later.

Tomorrow night, after our first full run, I am and so are some others from the cast, attending a Fundraising Gala for the Sheffield Crucible. A three course meal on the actual stage of the Crucible, with the money going to help support the Theatre in some way. I can’t wait. Not only because it’s free food, but because it’ll be a nice end to a great first week up north. Michelle is going to be doing a little sing song too, which I cannot wait for. Sounds like my perfect Friday night.

So, until tomorrow dear readers. Wish us luck! And thank you once again for your support.

My god. It’s cold outside. To quote Horatio, “It is a nipping and an eager air.”

Of course, I’m sure this is just a personal thing - you see, I shall not make rash statements without proof, but I have had my ears lowered! Yes, my curly locks are gone! I feel three stone lighter and very, VERY cold around the neck / head area. It seems appropriate to wear a scarf now.

Seeing my locks descend to the floor of the hairdressers in Sheffield, it got me thinking about my current state of emotions. I’m currently bubbling with excitement and nervousness. “Because Alex?”, I hear you bellow from the cliff tops?

Well, yesterday, we the Hamlet cast, ran ACT 1 for the first time. Straight through. No stopping.

Now, it might not seem that impressive to you all, some of you can be forgiven to think we were at this stage a long time ago, you know… Running the play, blah blah blah - And why not? I mean, makes sense, we open in a week’s time, right? - but, alas, no. It was Tuesday afternoon, in the rehearsal room at the Lyceum Theatre, I started the play off for our first Act 1 run.

“Who’s there?”

“Nay, answer me. Stand and unfold yourself”, replied Joe, his wonderful Francisco standing tall.

And we we’re off!

Trust me, it was so nice to do. It was so nice to see. It was so nice to be a part of. To witness all the pieces of the jigsaw slot together, albeit, half the pieces were missing (ahem… Act 2). 

Now, I’m not getting carried away myself, I’m not saying it was perfect. Because it wasn’t. No. The fact that I fluffed my line quite early on, in scene 1 can be a testament to that! From someone who is not in the play that much, I got to watch the first act unravel before my eyes and what a show it is! Excuse me for repeating myself, but Sheffield Crucible, you are lucky.

There’s a couple of stand out performances I want to mention, but, let that be said, everyone is just on it. I’m really bloody impressed, and I don’t mean for that to sound patronising. But, let me start with Hugh Ross, who is just a funny genius. Hilarious. And clever. I had to bite my bottom lip to stop the laughs gurgling out. Colin’s Horatio has epitomised the scholar, he commands the stage and I love watching him bring a fantastic earthy, grounded quality to his scenes. Michelle is a gorgeously strong Ophelia, just a pure talent. And wait until you see John Simm. He doesn’t need me blowing his trumpet, because you will see his fantastic Hamlet for yourselves. If you’re lucky enough to get tickets!

FORGIVE ME! I’ve just realised I’m going backwards in time with this entry - meh, it seems easier this way, for some reason.

Tuesday morning I was in attendance to the (I think) largest Theatre meet & greets, ever. 10am saw us all meet in the foyer of the Crucible, where we were welcomed by the entire crew and staff at Sheffield Crucible. From workshop to front of house, 4th floor management to costume department (there’s a lot of them). Daniel Evans gave a few words, saying how nice it was that we were finally up in Sheffield and how he can’t wait to see the show. Then all of us, about a million people, no exaggeration - okay, maybe a little - introduced ourselves, one by one, in the BIGGEST circle ever formed by human beings. I kid you not. It was quite intimidating for me and I’m an actor - bless the Catering staff who even made an appearance! But no, in all seriousness, it was a lovely, warm welcome to a fantastic theatre and our new home.

And Tuesday morning, about 8:45am, I woke up.

There you go, I’ve gone full circle. Hoorah!

My journey from Cardiff train station yesterday was a very apprehensive one. It’s the first time I’ve properly gone away from home to do a show. I’ve been in plays before that are away from home, but nothing this far. Cardiff to Swansea was my last real move. And you can’t really count that. I can’t really believe we’re all here. London seemed safe. Sheffield doesn’t. (And stop right there if you think I’m talking about the towns themselves) In our little London bubble, we were plodding along at a steady pace, with the show actually being put on seeming like a dream, some fantasy in the far away future.

As the train stations went by, my ipod played and my eyes drooped. I slept the majority of the way (which is a pain, as I was intending to blog), only to rudely awoken by the train ticket man! In a moment of embarassment, I realised I had fallen asleep with my mouth open. “Catching flies”, as my dad would say. A good start to the day then. Great.

Arriving onto the platform at Sheffield, I changed the music on my ipod. I put on Arctic Monkeys. Which I thought was very apt. Jumping into a taxi, I asked the driver to take me to my accomodation. His reply was, “I don’t know where that is.”

Ummm…. great.

So here I was, showing a taxi driver the ins and outs of his own city! “I’ve never been here before mate” I said, “that’s why I’m in a taxi! I assumed you would know!” I ended up giving him directions via my ‘Google maps’ app on my phone. Eventually, I was on my way. It’s always a risk, having to look for a place to stay, without knowing what it actually looks like and if the place is nice. Sometimes, you can pull the short straw, sometimes the long one! I can tell you now, I am very fortunate. And happy.

Mine on the other hand, is great. I am staying in the most lovely house, with the most lovely family. I have a great room, and it’s a 15 minute walk to the theatre. Result. No moaning from me on this one!

I was eager to look around the city, get to know where the theatre was and how long it would take me to get in. Get my bearings and all that mumbo jumbo. So, I unpacked my belongings, read my good luck cards from my parents and girlfriend (see pic above) and then got on the blower. I arranged to meet some of the cast out for a couple of drinks. Ben, Harry, Rod, Adam and myself all met up for a few jars, with local boy Adam showing us some great places to drink, guiding me away from one bar as to avoid the 18 year old being sick in the sink. It was his birthday, bless. Welcome to Sheffield, eh?

But seriously, it’s a lovely city. Bigger than I expected. In fact, I don’t know what I expected - so scrap that. I can’t wait to really feel comfortable with my surroundings and not have to have the support of my phone ushering me to my correct destination.

As for today, I was not in until 2, so I had a lie in. We have one rehearsal week left until we’re in the space, so it was to off to our new rehearsal room in the Lyceum Theatre (opposite the Crucible). Up on the fourth floor, with a great view over the city, our floor plan and props arriving safely from London, we cracked on where we left off with on Friday; the end of the play. We ran the Gravedigger scene through to the funeral, on to Osric’s arrival and culminating in the fight at the end. I couldn’t help feel and notice a sense of excitement and commitment today. All of us being in Sheffield has made us become a stronger company in some ways, closer, the goal in sight, all knowing that we’re edging ever closer to opening night. The cast are giving that 10% more to make sure we get it all done. It’s a nice feeling, there’s a buzz about it and a real good sense of unity.

Wandering around the theatre, seeing the rehearsal photos up in the Crucible and the big posters of John dotted around Sheffield, I think I’m right in saying there’s no chance of backing out now. I am, aren’t I? Not that I’m implying I want to, I’m just saying…

We have to do this, a week Wednesday is our open dress and the show will be ready. It’s going to be a tough last week, but it’s something I can’t wait to get through. I know we have a great, powerful play here. I’m really proud of it.

Well, hello there! Long time no see! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? You can’t exactly blame me. A Bank Holiday weekend is a rare luxury for actors, it’s unheard of, but a welcome surprise and I rested my little feet, as I’m sure most of the cast did too. My girlfriend, who has been away for a month in Edinburgh performing in the hit show BUNNY at Edinburgh Fringe, arrived back yesterday so it was nice to finally have some company in the flat.

Things in Hamlet town are progressing at a steady pace, I’m sure you’ll be pleased to know. This is our last week in London! We venture up to Sheffield on Sunday, ready for tech week. Last Friday saw us reach the end of the play, the final scene where destruction and murder is in abundance. Lots of nitty gritty blocking stuff to sort out, with Paul up to his puppetry skills yet again. I had a good session with John S and Colin on my Osric scene in the afternoon - it was nice to finally get there to be honest, as I’m getting apprehensive about the whole thing. It seemed so far in the distance that when it eventually cropped up, I didn’t quite make the most of it. I was under-prepared.

Now, forgive me if this entry gets a bit reflective (I feel I’m totally in my rights, as I’ve given you some beauties!) but, I’m in a reflective mood. Cue Coldplay music. To be honest with you all, I’m a little bit worried about my performance. And actually, I don’t quite know if ‘worried’ is the right word. Don’t get me wrong, Paul is great, encouraging and supportive, a masterful director who I trust undoubtedly. But. Yes there is a but, as the days are ticking over, I don’t feel like I’m making any headway with any of my characters. I don’t feel like I’m delivering anything that’s good enough to allow me to be here. My worry is that I’m letting people down. People who have put faith in me to be in this production. It’s entirely my fault too.

I think too much, that’s my problem.

As an actor, I know I’m a slow burner. It takes time for me to really warm into my characters, to really be inventive and play. Many productions in the past, I have failed to show signs of any sort of performance in rehearsals, but then begin to play when the show is up on it’s feet and there’s an audience in. I know I should have patience with this sort of thing, but everyday I see and work with these fantastic actors who just deliver. Constantly. Of course, we’re all not working for the finished article, I know that. Rehearsals are for discovering and playing. But that’s what I feel like I’m failing at. For some reason, I feel restricted in what I’m doing. I leave rehearsals feeling like I’ve failed. I’m not giving it my all and I don’t know why that is. Is it because of the words? Is it because of the parts? Or is it me?

*** INTERVAL ***

Whoever is still reading this I applaud you, and I don’t blame you for thinking that I’m a prat, but you have to know that all this stuff comes with the job. Welcome to the brain of an actor! An insecure actor at the moment, who has doubts about himself, but hopefully will get over himself and just get on with it

*** END INTERVAL ***

I will get there. I have to. And the show is not called, BARNARDO + PLAYER QUEEN + OSRIC, it’s called HAMLET and it’s not about me. It’s about all of us. An ensemble of creative brilliant people who are dedicated to this show. And I’m not just talking about the actors! There are the brilliant designers, the stage managers, everyone at Sheffield Theatres, Box Office, Marketing, even the ushers, we are all here to make it work. To put this show on!

My comfort zone as an actor is not Shakespeare. I realise that now. I enjoy it. No wait, I love it. I am so, so lucky to be here, speaking these fantastic words. I’m not taking it for granted, no, I’m just realising that it’s hard work and it’s time I pull up my socks to make it work. So Alex, let’s slap out of this reflective mood, turn off that Coldplay CD and bring on the rest of this week!

Tomorrow we’re hitting the ground running, starting at page 40 (this means nothing to you all, I know that, but still, interesting…) and seeing how far we get. We’re at the stage where every minute is vital. So, I’ll leave you with the master…

‘Once more unto the breach, dear friends…’ - wrong play, I know, but you get the idea.

DISASTER!

On Tuesday afternoon, James was riding in to rehearsals on his Vespa scooter and was unfortunately in an accident. A bus pulled out abruptly, a courier bike was caught by an island in the middle of the road and in these wet conditions, James slammed on the breaks and his front wheel locked, sending him to the floor. He was incredibly lucky only to escape with a broken finger and a couple of bruises. He was wearing a full visor helmet and apparently that took most of the damage. It could have been a lot worse, but the guy is a trooper and was in this afternoon rehearsing Laertes return to Elsinore. How fitting. But, I’m sure you’ll join me in wishing him a speedy recovery! Especially as the broken finger is on his fighting hand. Eeek!

On top of all that, my day away from Hamlet has thrown me into a tizz! It feels like the start of the week, not the end. I couldn’t quite believe I was typing ‘Thursday 26th…’ into my subject heading. But you could be mistaken to believe that if I thought it was a Monday, that I’d feel all refreshed and ready to take on the day?

Wrong. I think there’s something in the ether. The cast are dropping like flies! Rod Smith has had a ear infection for the last week, Joe Mydell came in today all fluey, add to that James with his finger and my cough, irritating everyone (I’m sure) and my nose just won’t stop running. I blame this horrible London weather. It’s just so relentless. I’m sick of smelling like a wet dog. Hopefully it’ll ease off this weekend where I’ll be attending the Notting Hill Carnival with friends. Please?

Anyway, back to blog world.

Yesterday I was not in rehearsals as I was attending a funeral back in Wales. It was raining there too, surprise surprise! But I was back today, in at 11.30 for… a… umm… scene… that… I’m not… in. Hmm? Okay.

I was confused, to say the least. But, I think I’ve mentioned it in a earlier entry, that Paul has this idea of introducing characters that appear later in the play, earlier. For example, Osric is appearing in several scenes where he’s not scripted in. So the audience gets used to seeing the character and we as actors have a much better feel for our parts and our arch in the story. It’s a wonderful suggestion and it’s working. It’s common sense I suppose, the more you appear on stage as a character, the more you start to own it and the more the audience start to believe it. Obviously, most of the cast have only one part, there are only a couple of us ‘doubling up’. I hope it pays off when you see it, I’m sure it will.

I had the luxury though of witnessing an array of great scenes today. John Simm is on top form. Watch out! His Hamlet is going to be full of sincerity, passion, nuance and comedy. It’s a joy to watch someone’s performance grow throughout rehearsals, from read-through to final curtain. We’re coming to the end of week 2 and considering we’re flying through scenes, everyone is raising each other’s games and being so generous on the floor.

For instance, I love watching Adam and Dylan (Rosencrantz & Guildenstern). Their double act is subtle and genuinely funny. Often these character can be portrayed a little too Ant & Dec, but watching them play off John Simm & taking orders from John Nettles in two contrasting scenes, it just shows you the pairs diversity. Adam, playing it down the line and Dylan wearing his heart on his sleeve, the relationship is enjoyable to watch.

And I’m sure you’ll be pleased that friendships are growing too, in real life!

What a segue that was…

Hopefully as you follow my blog until the end of this journey, you’ll witness them blossom. Outside of the rehearsal room, the cast are getting to know each other and ‘banter’ is already forming. Captain Lamb and Harry ‘I only download free apps’ Lister Smith can vouche for me on that one. When you work so closely and intensely with a bunch of people, you tend to throw yourself in the deep end and make friends quickly. It makes the environment much more ‘workable’ - which is not rocket science, thank you Dr. Vlahos.

So, tomorrow will be Friday and that’ll be week 2 in the bag. One more week in London and we head up to Sheffield for a month and a bit! Baring all our hard work to the paying public. You lot! Aaaaaaah!